What to do if passion fails?

When moments of fatigue come between him and her, it is important to run for cover. The advice of the specialist on the strategies to follow.

It is an experience that can happen to couples: they go through a moment of tiredness and move away from each other. A malaise that could also manifest itself in intimacy. These are moments that must be faced, but without fear.

The importance of an opinion outside the couple

Ciro Basile Fasolo, andrologist at the University of Pisa, explains: “We need to dedicate ourselves to an analysis of the situation that created this problem. Better to get help from someone, to have an objective “photograph” of what is happening in the couple. Support can come from a psychologist, but also from a friend you know well and trust. In a couple, exchanging accusations with each other leads to nothing. Talking about the situation can be useful to identify and address the problems that have extinguished the passion».

“The attraction in a couple does not come from nothing – continues the andrologist – but is built together and must be cultivated over the years. There are many small important attentions not to lose the understanding: a bouquet of flowers, a gift, but also experimenting together with a new recipe in the kitchen, buying a new piece of furniture can serve to change the situation for the better and find the understanding of the couple ».

“It is also good to remember that passion, sexual desire does not begin, so to speak, at ten o’clock in the evening. Passion is created in two, inventing something together, for example planning a trip or a trip. It is also useful to plan moments for pastimes that leave personal spaces: soccer, cinema or theater, some outings with friends. Although there may be moments of fatigue, life together is a very important factor for psychophysical well-being.”

Never underestimate a problem “under the sheets”

If the lack of intimacy derives from a difficulty of the male partner at the time of sexual intercourse, it is good not to underestimate the problem, also because sometimes the onset of erectile deficit (ie the recurrent or persistent inability to obtain or maintain an erection that allows satisfactory sexual intercourse) can be an alarm bell for general health.

“In case of erectile deficiency it is necessary to make sure that there are no health problems – underlines Basile Fasolo. You should consult your doctor to ascertain the situation and possibly undergo check-ups. Once it is clear that everything is fine, the specialist could recommend some pharmacological remedy to be taken following his prescriptions». The problem of erectile deficit is quite widespread: according to some estimates, in Italy 13% of men would be affected at least in part by erectile deficit. Other studies have instead found that the percentage rises to 50% if “small defaillances” are also considered.

It is a disorder that becomes more frequent with the passing of the years. If under 50 years 1.7% of men suffer from it, the percentage rises to 48.3% in those over 70. It must be remembered that smokers and diabetics are more likely to suffer from this problem, since in these subjects the risk factors that underlie the disorder increase.

We must not give up. For some years there have also been discreet solutions, drugs that can be carried in the pocket of the jacket and that look like mints. They do not give in the eye and can be taken if necessary.