Stress, enemy No. 1 of virility even on vacation

Make love not war. It was easy. With all that they have to do and think, when they arrive in the evening, the men (and women) of the new millennium can hardly hold back a sufficient dose of enthusiasm, serenity and energy to devote to the couple’s life.

To pay the price is above all the male who, regardless of age, level of physical fitness and quality of the relationship with his partner, finds himself more and more often to deal with an early decline in desire and sexual vivacity, with all that follows in terms of self-confidence, good humor and self-esteem.

Manhood depends on a simple and perfect mechanism, which can however be tilted by stress, at all ages.

It happens to everyone, sooner or later, and it can happen on several occasions. In younger people, usually, the problem is occasional or transient and in many cases linked to situations of particular fatigue and stress. But it should not be overlooked. The first time, maybe even the second, the healthiest reaction is to ignore the issue, not to give it weight because, otherwise, you run the risk of running into the so-called spectactoring: “A couple of episodes of erectile dysfunction – explains Alberto Caputo, sexologist and psychotherapist – are common to most men, but can be repeated if the fear of failure, that causes the increase of adrenaline, takes over making us become spectators and controllers of our sexual performance».

In humans, the first poorly concealed defaillance under the sheets risk, in fact, to trigger a negative vicious circle on the psychological level, which soon translates into performance anxiety and fear of the judgment of the partner.

Two elements that further aggravate the situation by risking transforming a minor inconvenience into a persistent sexual dysfunction.

The woman, on the other hand, can accumulate stress due to the inability to openly face the problem with her partner and help him find a solution.

In doubt about what to do or believing that she is no longer wanted, she will begin to approach less serene sexuality, drawing less pleasure from it and trying to thin out the moments of intimacy, now lived with discomfort. Result: “he” will feel increasingly inadequate. Action is essential.

Coupled reaction

To recover a harmonious sexuality it is, first of all, essential to understand that the problem of erectile dysfunction is not only of the man, but of the couple, and the solution must be identified in two.

Usually, the most reluctant to internalize this concept is “him” and the partner will have to try to be very sensitive and patient to convince him that it is not so.

If at the base of the disorder there are no specific diseases or other health problems, but it is actually only an excess of stress, sharing the difficulties you are experiencing is the best way to ease tension, better understand the expectations and needs of the other and place yourself in the ideal conditions to start a “rapprochement”.

Without exaggerating. That is, without spending too much time and energy discussing the subject, otherwise you risk removing all poetry and getting the opposite effect.

The next step is to try to do pleasant things together that entertain and relax both: a dinner out, an evening with friends, the weekend at the sea, shopping, a bike ride in the middle of nature. Dedicate more time only to yourself and your desire to be together.

Finally, follow a healthy lifestyle: eat nutritious but light foods; move a little every day; Above all, avoid smoking and alcohol: their deleterious effects on male sexuality and on the well-being of both are proven and far from negligible.

Young and anxious

But is it true that at the base of an erectile disorder there is stress? “It is especially true among young people – continues Caputo. Up to the age of 50, in fact, the organic causes that can cause an erectile deficit are less likely. Anxiety, on the other hand, from performance or chronic, is the enemy of sexuality even at 20 years. It is not enough to take a vacation to solve the problem because if stress is chronic it is also discounted on the most beautiful beaches in the world. Not only that, it can even increase: a couple’s holiday creates many expectations and an erotic relationship that is not up to par can trigger further reasons for stress».

How to deal with the situation? “It is necessary to identify the cause, perhaps trying to answer the questions of the DIQ (Diagnostic Impotence Questionnaire) available on the net and which establishes the hypothetical psychological prevalence of the disorder”. In addition, it is good to know that if erectile dysfunction does not occur with autoeroticism and if physiological nocturnal and morning erections are present, the probable cause is anxiety and performance stress.

Discrete solutions

In this case the solutions are there. The “love pills”, more and more discreet in packaging, all have more or less the same effect: they increase blood flow that allows the penis to become entured and maintain an erection for a certain period of time.

Erectile dysfunction affects, statistics say, up to 15% of the male population and, in 50% of cases, has an organic origin.

In order for a valid erection to be produced, the vascular, endocrine and neurological systems must work in harmony. So, if the problem does not pass – that is, after a couple of weeks of trying, in company or in solitude – it is better to consult a doctor to rule out important related diseases, to be treated as soon as possible, such as diabetes, hypertension, atherosclerosis.

Joycelyn Elders is the author and creator of EmpowerEssence, a health and wellness blog. Elders is a respected public health advocate and pediatrician dedicated to promoting general health and well-being.

The blog covers a wide range of topics related to health and wellness, with articles organized into several categories.

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