Marriage without sex: better to cut off?

The lack of relationships often hides the most diverse causes and is increasingly frequent even among young people.

It does not matter if it is marriage or cohabitation: in both cases it is increasingly frequent that, at the behest of him or her, there is no more sexual relations.

A situation that can have different causes, but that in any case must be addressed and resolved.

Age doesn’t matter

Ciro Basile Fasolo, professor of Psychology of Communication at the University of Pisa and head of the Sexology clinic at the University A.O. of Pisa, confirms: “In some cases, and they are frequent, couples who no longer have sexual relations are young. Why is there no desire? In many cases, work stress plays an important role. Tensions trigger, at a physiological level, a chain of reactions that have a negative effect on sex hormones and consequently on intimate life.

“Today many couples get married or live together after several years of relationship. When this ‘goal’ of life together has been reached, it may happen that the sexual desire between the two is extinguished – adds the expert. In my experience I have seen seemingly perfect couples, young, sporty, with many interests in common, who on the eve of marriage no longer had intimate relations. My advice is that the two young people deepen the motivations of their being a couple. They have to ask themselves why they are in a relationship, and what their plans are for the future.”

Passion naturally fades even among the less young. “When it comes to a mature couple, a certain tiredness of each other can play an important role – explains the specialist. In the age group of over 50 years, sexual desire can also decrease due to physical problems. Even the intake of some drugs should be taken into consideration: there are active ingredients that, sometimes, act on the mechanism of sexual desire. It is good to inquire with your doctor. Healthy lifestyles are very important: smoking is also harmful to the reproductive system, as well as exceeding alcohol».

And he adds: “Then there are psychological causes. One factor that plays a negative role is frustration at work. Or even more the loss of employment, with all the consequent economic problems. Unemployment has a heavy impact on the identity of the person. When depression sets in, it’s easy for the only desire to go to sleep as soon as possible.”

Seek help from a specialist

Whatever the cause, it is essential to seek help from an expert, a psychosexologist and, if there are physical problems, even from an andrologist. Alone it is very difficult to understand which path is the right one to follow.

According to specialists, another cause of this sexual problem, especially in young people, is also lack of sleep due to long hours spent on the web. In addition, erectile deficit, i.e. the inability to obtain or maintain an erection that allows satisfactory sexual intercourse, also increasingly affects young people. According to recent estimates by the Italian Society of Urology, one in 4 men with erection problems is now under 40 years old.

In each situation it is up to the specialist to establish the investigations and possibly prescribe supportive care for the problem. And it will be possible to return to live a complete and serene life as a couple.