Erectile dysfunction and couple dialogue

For a series of prejudices it tends to be concealed. Erectile dysfunction, on the other hand, should be considered, which is, a disorder to be brought to the attention of the doctor.

Supergifted, performing, muscular, virile, tireless and always ready for any kind of adventure. Here is a description that does not differ much from the prototype of the “Latin lover”, the one who in the collective imagination has been for many years the genuine Italian male.

Yet, on average, one in three people over forty suffers from erectile dysfunction, known to most as “impotence“. But the disorder also occurs, not infrequently, in the age group between 20 and 40 years.

And, what is worse, the pathology tends to remain hidden – strong is the embarrassment! – because too often it is associated with a defect of masculinity, instead of being considered for what it most often is: a sign of health problems that should be diagnosed as soon as possible.

Gaining awareness with her

Most of the time men feel ashamed to talk about the problem. Some secretly resort to alternative remedies that often do not offer guarantees of seriousness (many websites, for example, advertise aphrodisiacs of dubious quality and effectiveness).

Or, even worse, they improperly take – and, as the chronicles have taught, taking serious risks – drugs that should be prescribed by the doctor.

And, in any case, they do not say anything, to the point that very often it is the partner herself who suspects the problem and takes initiatives. Or, when they decide to talk about it, the situation is really serious.

Men, on the other hand, ignore two very important aspects:

• First of all, erectile disorder, especially when kept hidden, can compromise the couple’s relationship;
• Secondly, the involvement of the partner is important and can offer a contribution in terms of understanding and concrete help.

What to do

A first reference can and must be the family doctor, who knows his patients well and, even if he cannot solve the problem alone, can help to frame it through a first series of simple blood tests and also using simple questionnaires. More in-depth investigations can be carried out by the specialist (e.g. an ultrasound, a urological examination…)

It will then be this white coat to direct, when necessary, to the urologist, andrologist, endocrinologist or other specialists in conjunction with other disorders such as diabetes or cardiovascular problems.

Unfortunately, as the evidence shows, the reporting to the doctor of an erectile dysfunction occurs on average after two years from its appearance, when depression, anxiety or outcomes of trauma or atherosclerosis – the main causes of erectile dysfunction – are likely to have consolidated.

On the national territory there is a network of public centers that deal with andrology. And also in this case the woman can be supportive, perhaps avoiding delays in medical consultation that sometimes prove to be very harmful.

A habit for now only female

For women, in fact, it is obvious to contact the gynecologist even for a simple check-up or prevention, while sufficient sensitivity has not yet spread within the male category towards disorders of the genital and sexual sphere.

For this reason, it could be the partner who advises to go to one of the specialists who deal with male sexual disorders.

It would always be preferable, however, to contact one of them only after having carried out, under the advice of the family doctor, the diagnostic tests useful to suggest the best way to go to reach an effective solution.

Controlling evolution together

In addition, it is very important to sensitize men not only to become aware of the problem, but above all to observe its evolution over time. And if the partner is aware of the problem, it’s much easier.

An erectile dysfunction that tends to be constant or, worse, to worsen within a few months should alarm and lead to a timely consultation of the doctor.

Paradoxically, in fact, it could be the “lesser of evils” compared to a series of possible and complex diseases (diabetes, hypertension, dyslipidemia and so on) of which, often, erection defects are only the first alarm bell.