Betrayal: more likely in summer. Why do we hunt for emotions on holiday?

It is during the summer that more couple crises occur, thanks to the desire to escape and the desire to get out of the routine.

Despite what you may think, experts explain that the habit of being together is a positive value and is the consequence of a common identity built every day together with the partner. Infidelity, on the other hand, always hides a sign of discomfort.

But why do you betray more in summer? Francesco Padrini, psycho-sexologist, explains: “In summer the person frees himself from the main tensions of the working world and routine and therefore “predisposing” elements are created that allow the occurrence of facts such as betrayal”.

“Many think that in summer you can achieve what you can’t do during the year – adds Padrini. You want freedom, not so much transgression, as relaxation. There is a double objective component in all this, both physical and emotional: the person opens up to go out more, to have more free time and then at the base, there are situations of dissatisfaction».

“If the couple’s relationship is monotonous, other satisfactions are sought and this can favor betrayal, the search for emotions no longer found in the partner. The motive for betrayal is always the search for what is missing: complicity, emotional support, but when you betray you often have no intention of facing a real detachment, which would be too problematic and painful”.

A balance in the imbalance

The cheater chooses, therefore, a compromise between escaping from boredom and the need he still has for the love of his partner. “In fact, it finds a balance in the imbalance,” says Padrini.

Infidelity is a sign of discomfort within the couple: from the disappointment of expectations, to the repression of one’s desires, to the resentment that accumulates and remains unexpressed. It is betrayed by evasion, retaliation or by seeking confrontation and compensation.

And so when you feel more open, in situations like the summer holidays, you more easily grasp all the inputs that reality puts before us. “You become more receptive to your sensory aspect,” explains Padrini.

But then why does this openness not happen with one’s partner and look for others? “Basically,” reiterates the psycho-sexologist, “there must be latency, a desire to change and relational dissatisfaction. Not necessarily the actual transgression is sought, but more perhaps an attempt at escape. Situations of betrayal, especially in summer, are more part of a fantasy than a reality, of a phantasmal component. This is demonstrated by the fact that most of these relationships, especially if they are born in people already engaged, then tend to thin out to end up in oblivion and vanish, upon returning from vacation». And this happens in various age groups.

How to deal with betrayals?

“The real problem is not the betrayal itself, but the lack of communion between two partners that anticipates the ground,” explains Padrini, who adds: “Crises must be experienced and not avoided, always keeping communication channels open, facing conflicts. Sometimes you can react with rupture or you can find in betrayal an element to renew yourself and face unresolved problems.”

But for those who have betrayed, is it better to reveal what happened or not to their partner? “There is no rule that applies to everyone – concludes the psychologist. Sometimes sincerity rewards, other times it destroys the couple altogether. It is up to the freedom of the person to choose, always remembering not to hurt the other unnecessarily”.